Did He Really Just Text Me That? #4

So a little background. I met this dude we’ll call him “Stack the Mall Stalker” at the mall (Yes, another one at the mall, it is getting worse then the club) He had followed me around the mall and then used the lame line “I know you from somewhere” I know, I know, I should never have given this dude my number; because 1. He used a lame line and 2. He stalked me at the mall. I gave him my number for three reasons 1. He is pretty cute and he hit on me while I was looking ragedy 2. He had a nice voice (I have a thing for voices) and 3. If this turned bad I’d have “Single Girl material” and guess what?! I have Single Girl Material…

So this text string started Thursday the 23^rd:

SMS: Wat up sexy. U up 

(Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE wat the shortened version of what. Its one damn letter, you can’t put in one letter to make a correct spelling???)

Me: I am now

SMS: Ok. Wen u want me 2 come c u

Me: Not sure I have to do some running around but probably around 6ish

SMS: Ok coo

Me: (Several hours later) I’m at TMP if you want to come meet up w me

SMS: I got class from 5-7 (He never mentioned class earlier today, suspect!)

Me: Tisk Tisk texting in class… What class r u in?

SMS: Business course @ ASU (Hmm very generic don’t you think?)

Me: Right on. You didn’t mention class earlier today ;-) I’ll catch a movie. Text me when you’re out.

SMS: K. Will do

SMS: Am I meeting u at ur place later or @ TMP (WTF!?! Where the hell did my place get entered into this equation?? Like I’d let some dude I don’t know into my place especially one that stalked me in the mall. I don’t think so!)

Me: Yeah my house not happening. A single girl can never be to careful

SMS: Ok

Hours pass and I don’t hear back from this guy. So whats a girl to do when stood up? I called up another dude and went for drinks. =)

About 6 hours later from the last text so around midnight.

SMS: Hey sweetie my phn died & I didn’t hav ur # memorized. Lets meet up 2morrow. (HAHAH Yeah right!! Like I’d meet up with this guy ever! And really it takes 6 hours to charge a phone. Anyone with a smart phone has at least one extra charger and a car charger.)

Friday Morning

SMS: Wat u doin sexy

SMS: What u doin mama

SMS: wats up

(All with no response from me.)

Saturday:

SMS: Wat u doin 2nite

SMS: Hey mama come ova so I can taste it 2nite

(EWWWW! So many things wrong here. Yuck. How do you go from no responses to this?? I don’t get it. I think I’ll be using my Mr. Numbers blocking app on this dude. )

Oh and on another funny note. I got a text from Stage 5 Clinger on this same day and I hadn’t heard from him in a few weeks. LMAO!!! When it rains it pours. WOW!


Update:


Sunday:


SMS: No txt back. Y u actin shady


Me acting shady?? Really!?! Maybe I'd text back if you hadn't turned out to be such a douche!

Happy Evil Day!!!

Ok so Valentines Day is not really Evil Day but for those who are single it can certainly feel like an evil day. There are hearts, flowers and lovey dovey stuff every where. And then there are you booed up friends that are talking about their special plans their men have planned for them.

But really I have been single for so long that Evil day is pretty much just another day for me. Even when I did have a not so significant other on Valentines day, those days didn't end up so special. I can count on one finger the good Valentines days I've had with a boyfriend. The rest... not so great. My absolute favorite evil day was when I was in college and a whole bunch of my friends and I were single at the same time and that is a very rare occasion. We all got together and had an "Anti-Valentines Day" we made some good food, drank some cheap wine and then went off to the bars. This is what I feel like evil day should be about, just not significant other love, but love of all types. Why was that day so great, it was nothing really special, but it was so fun because we were all together having fun, laughing, making good memories. That is a Valentines Day I'll never forget.

I think too often woman, yes, women get too caught up in the day and forget all the things their men do for them on a regular. Why do you need a "day"? Why can't you appreciate each other every day? Appreciate those little things done on a daily, not the gestures he makes one day a year because he knows he'll be in trouble if he doesnt.

I don't that's just food for thought from a rambling single girl. Take it for what its worth. =)

Booty Calls: The Rules

Booty Calls: The Rules

Ladies, you know you have contemplated it; maybe even had a booty call or two, hey a girl has needs even when she is between boyfriends. In theory booty calls are great, you get what you need, he gets what he needs, it is a Win Win, right?

Eh, booty calls are not for every girl. If you haven’t tried a booty call and are thinking about it, there are basic rules or guidelines you should follow. Written by females not men for how you should act or what to expect.

The first and MOST IMPORTANT rule is:

DON’T GET ATTACHED!!!!!

*This should be self-explanatory, but this simple rule is broken ALL the time. Ladies, the male half of the booty call is not getting attached to you. Those movies you have watched are just that: movies and those stories you may have heard of a booty call turning into a relationship are the exception NOT the rule.

Other Rules of a Booty Call:

• Go to his place (Relationships are for your place, Booty Calls for his)
• Don’t spend the night (Hoe Bag isn’t even needed)
• Bring your own protection (Never trust such an important detail to a man)
• Like the guy, But DON’T love the guy
• Make sure you get yours (That’s the whole point of the arrangement, right)
• Don’t expect your booty call to act like a boyfriend (Don’t expect daily texts, don’t expect him to want to “get to know” you and don’t “get to know” him)
• Cuddling is not preferred (Cuddling can lead to sleeping and spending the night)
• Wear sexy undies (You don’t get comfortable with Booty Calls)
• You are having sex or F’ing you are NOT making love

I really don’t recommend the booty call for girls who are “relationship” girls. You know who you are. You tend to be in relationship after relationship. A booty call is going to be too hard for you, you won’t be able to help it, you’ll get attached. This will be a nerve racking experiencing for you. You will want your booty call to act like a boyfriend and he won’t and you’ll wonder why he isn’t and it’ll drive you crazy.

Ladies who can remain a little more detached go ahead give it a whirl see if it is something you can handle. If you feel yourself getting attached, BAIL!

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The Hoe Bag

The Hoe Bag:

Ladies, you know what the Hoe Bag is! If you don’t know what a Hoe bag is, let me s’plain…

The Hoe bag is the bag you pack when you are going to some guys house to do the dirty. This guy is more serious than a one nighter or probably a bootie call where you are sneaking out in the middle of the night, but it is not serious enough to even contemplate leaving a couple of essentials at his house.

What does a Hoe Bag contain?

It is different for every girl but here are some essentials:

• A toothbrush and toothpaste or those Wisps if you have them
• A fresh pair of panties
• A t-shirt or daytime shirt
• A more sensible pair of shoes, bc you know your stilettos from your night out are going to look odd with your daytime shirt. It will just scream “walk of shame”. Trust me I’ve done the T-shirt and going out stilettos and it is not a cute look.
• Make-up remover, because raccoon eyes is also not a good look on anyone

Now depending on how much you utilize your Hoe Bag this list have more to the list or less. I was in San Diego with my sister and we got in a cab and some chick had left her Hoe Bag in the car.

What we found shoved into a purse was:

• A pair of shoes
• Gum
• Wisps

Now this is a Bare Bones Hoe Bag for the girl that never knows where the night will take her.

I had a friend that practically kept a full suitcase in her truck for those last minute trips to the guy she was seeing house. She practically had a full wardrobe and full make up.  This I think is a bit overkill but some people are more high maintenance then others.

What’s in your Hoe Bag? Single Girls want to know!

Email your Hoe Bag contents and we will add them to the post or leave a comment!

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Date Stories: The "Free" Date

The “Free” Date:

What exactly is a free date? Ladies this is when the man that asked you out is so cheap he arranges a date that will cost him no money.  What I can’t even get a coffee? It doesn’t have to be Starbucks, dang it could be a local joint instead…

My “Free” date story:

So I met this guy online *hanging my head in shame* and he suggested we meet up at this popular outdoor spot. It has bars, restaurants, stores and a movie theater. So I’m thinking we’ll meet up and decide what to do you know maybe catch a flick or get a drink, you know usual date night stuff. So I’m walking up to meet him and he looks appreciative of the view (I mean on course it is me *smiles*), I’m thinking he is pretty cute, a little on the short side, but he looks good on paper.  Has a job, went to college, well mannered, a slight southern accent.  So I’m thinking ok, so maybe this date won’t be so bad.  So we exchange pleasantries and he suggests we walk around for a while. I’m like ok, thinking that we were going to walk around to see what’s poppin’.  Like 40 minutes of random walking around and chit chatting I start to realize that maybe we aren’t going to actually go anywhere.  So I suggest that we go grab a drink, its summer and in AZ its hot here even at night, so by now I was thirsty.  Then he kind of looks around and was like well “why don’t we just sit down… “I look at him with that look, and say “um, ok….”, so we find a spot to sit and after a bit he’s like. “I’m trying to save money, so is it cool we just chill here?”  So, what’s my response the polite “Well that’s good that you are trying to save money, very responsible”, in my head I’m thinking, “What he can’t even splurge on a free refill diet coke? What the crap…”. So of course I start up on my phone to see what the girls are up to and invent a polite reason to take off to go hang with some non-cheap asses that can afford a drink.  

*Note: It's not that I'm a gold digger, shit I'm pretty damn low maintenance; however, what the hell is a dude asking a girl out for if he aint got no money?? You broke? Don't Date! Easy Peezy! 

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Guy Type: The Houdini

Ok, so this one may or may not be obvious. You may be looking at this guy type thinking what the heck does a magician have to do with a “Guy Type”, what can he pull rabbit out of his hat?

Ladies, the Houdini is an elusive type of man, you’ve probably encountered the Houdini in the past but you didn’t have a name to put with his behavior.

When a guy is a Houdini or has “pulled a Houdini” it’s when you have met this man and you all are vibing, maybe even dating. Things are going great you have things in common he’s texting, calling, being attentive and you think hey maybe this dude has some BF potential. You haven’t done any of the single girl mistakes, you haven’t been to clingy, calling insensibly, you’re playing it smart and cool.

And then BAM!!!!! He disappears! Hence, the Houdini.

And you are left wondering WTF! Where did this dude go???  Ladies, it’s not your fault, he’s a Houdini! He probably likes the challenge of reeling you in and then, moves on to his next stage. Really we should pay him for such an effective mind boggling disappearing act. Only Houdini himself could do a better disappearing act, this guy should have his own show.

Ladies, we have all fallen victim to the Houdini so don’t feel too bad, at least you didn’t have to pay for the show and know you are in great company with the rest of us single ladies.

 

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Movie Trailer Ratings

So Black Cherry and I enjoy catching a flick now and then, and we have to see the previews! Sometimes the previews are the best part of the movie going experience. Like when you end up in a crappy movie, for example: The Grey. (Which was totally lame and depressing, I want my $7.00 back!)

So we have a preview rating system while we are watching previews. You are probably asking yourself why do you care, what does this have to do with being single? The answer is it doesn’t have anything to do with being single, this is just because, our rating system is bomb and easy to use and everyone should adopt it. Oh and I was planning on posting some previews and giving it the single girl rating.

Can’t wait (with a thumbs up hand gesture)! – Obviously this is for that movie we can’t wait to see. Example – Hunger Games

RedBox it – This one we kinda want to see but are willing to wait until it is at RedBox for a $1.50.

Only If we are desperate – This is when we are slightly intrigued but not enough to give it a more committed rating.

Um no (with a thumbs down hand gesture) – This one we don’t have any plans to see ever but we are not violently opposed to the movie. It just looks stupid or boring.

Hell F’n NO! (With a hand slash and a thumbs down) – No way in hell are we EVER going to watch this movie. You could offer us money and we probably still won’t go see it.

Our first preview:

Hunger Games – Can’t Wait! (With as many thumbs up as you can have)

Premiers: March 22, 2012

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